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I question the ways in which we myself included chirp Happy Mothers Day while legislators annul the reproductive autonomy of poor women, or women with few social or material resources to abort pregnancies. I cant help but contrast the ways that we honor our mothers in individual and highly public ways while we simultaneously uphold a political and cultural system that punishes children who mention or physical abuseby refusing more feasible options than removing children from the household and depriving them of parents altogether. I worry about the ways in which the state yes, even the pre Trump state criminalizes women who engage in prostitution because there are no better ways to make an income needed to care for their children. I worry about the ways in which womens pleas for economic, psychic, emotional assistance, or the need for networks gets ignored by their families, friends, neighbors who are too busy, to help, or read these pleas as pathologies, as reflecting an unwillingness to buck up and deal or pull themselves up by their bootstraps. I am concerned about the ways in which weboth on the right and the left disparage abused women who refuse to leave their spouses. Disparagement even when they and the subjects of their derisionthe women who are already injured and sufferingknow that leaving their spouses, while providing relief from a daily onslaught of abuse, still invites an open ended future often an indefinite future in which they flail about through insufficiently funded battered womens and homeless shelters, where they unceasingly try to shield their children from the trauma, the stigma of having left their father, left their school systems, left their routines and beds. All of thiswhile suffering yet again, through social and familial ostracization for having breached patriarchal normative frameworks of relationshipsLest yall think Im being too cynical: Anna Jarvis, daughter of Anna Reeves Jarvis founder of Mothers Friendship Day in the1850sa much more structural political battle, died penniless trying to fight the commercialization of Mothers Day. Still, Jarvis Jr. s was less of a political celebration of Mothers Day than was her mothers vision. I dont begrudge those who wish to observe various moms on this Hallmark holiday Ive done so as well. But as we know, the point of Hallmark holidays is to render a deeply political, often oppressive structure apolitical, sentimental, devoid of power, injustice, and hierarchical politics.

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